Addicted to Stress – an answer to the Florida Dom

Yesterday, the Florida Dom wrote about a book that postulates women have more difficulty dealing with stress than men do. Now I haven't had a chance to read Addicted to Stress so I won't even attempt to comment on the particulars of it but I do have something to say on the subject. I've spent a great deal of time researching the subject because once upon a time, my job was all about teaching stressed people how to relax.

And absolutely, there are such things as stress addicts. These are people who have habituated to the chemical high of the adrenaline rush. It gives them a false sense of power and control and they use stress as a way of numbing themselves to the sources of their unhappiness in their lives. That response is no different than using cocaine, heroin, alcohol, food or sex to distract ones attention from internal feelings of personal inadequacy. As any yoga teacher can tell you, the person who leaves their first class gushing about how good they feel, how relaxed they are, is the student you'll never see again. Why? I think it's because they are so unaccustomed to feeling anything but tension that relaxation and release is actually a very uncomfortable experience for them. They literally do not know what to do without the anxiety and hormonal cascades that come with it. They are so habituated to stress that "normal" feels weird and they'll do almost anything to return to that state of high tension. And anything includes generating turmoil and drama in their lives so they can maintain that sense of excitement and there's a whole host of self-destructive behaviours that fall into pot.

It is true that insomnia is more likely to affect women than men; however, I don't think it's entirely due to the fact that women innately don't handle stress as well as men. In my observations, and there is nothing scientific about this, women are more likely to be aware of their stress patterns and more willing to seek help for the problems. Women, unless they are isolated, also tend to be able to talk to other women about their issues. Just talking with a friend is often an effective means of processing the stresses. In the absence of a good friend to talk to, many women use diaries or journaling as a way of 'letting go' of their emotional issues that may impact sleep.

Generally speaking, people as they age are more likely to experience insomnia than younger people. The brain's production of melatonin decreases with age. It's also been demonstrated that a woman tends to develop more acute hearing after she's had a child – obvious species survival implications there -- but even after the children have grown up and left the nest, women are more likely to respond to night time noise. Women who have issues with PMS often experience sleep disruptions that are based on the rise and fall of estrogen levels. Menopausal women often suffer from fractured sleep patterns (night sweats wake them up). Often these issues clear up in post-menopausal women and the gender imbalance of insomnia sufferers starts to balance out in older adults. .

Insomnia can be caused by a multitude of factors – not just stress and anxiety. Shift schedule changes, jet lag, medications including caffeine, lack of circulation, poor bedding, and overstimulation during the development of the "sleep window" are all potential culprits.

There are different kinds of insomnia as well. Transient insomnia is often triggered by stressful events, anything to a cold with a bad cough to final exams for a student. Normal sleep patterns are restored once the immediate stress is removed from the equation. Short term insomnia can last a few weeks. It's often triggered by the things we think of as insomnia producers – anxiety, worry, difficult problems in life. Long term insomnia – people who have suffered from it for years – are often shift workers, or people who live in noisy environments, or people with poor bedding who can't get comfortable. Sometimes this long-term insomnia is rooted in physical disease. Heart disease, diabetes, prostrate disease, asthma, arthritis, and sleep apnea are just some of the physical problems that can negatively affect sleep quality.

I have some sympathies with this issue as I suffer from insomnia myself. I've experienced all variety of sleep disruption. The classic "I can't fall to sleep" is typical for times when there's a lot of stressors in my life that I'm not processing well. I've also had times when I experienced greatly fractured sleep (awoken many times in the night). I'm a diabetic and when my blood sugar management falls apart for one of a million reasons, I'm up 4 to 5 times in the night. Finally, I've suffered from the 'short duration' insomnia where I awaken fully charged and unable to return to sleep after a very short time (4 hours or less).

My 'recipe' for dealing with insomnia in my life is multi-pronged. First is effective management of my diabetes. Without that, nothing else works. I make sure that my bed space is for sleep (and sex) only so that I'm mentally prepared to sleep when I go to bed. I replace my pillows frequently and I have a top quality mattress in both of my bedrooms (I live away from home during the week). I don't consume caffeine after 3 pm. I don't eat food after 8 pm. I have a daily yoga and meditation practice that is a necessity if I'm going to sleep with any degree of quality. Writing, either in this blog, or in my personal journal, is how I process emotional conflicts and mental 'sticky issues'.

Of all of these, the yoga and meditation practice is the most important. That quality time I spend with myself for myself is what illuminates where other factors of my life have lost their balance. It's also a dedicated time for me to allow my deep inner wisdom to bear fruit with the challenges of day to day living.

~~doll~~