Acta non Verba – Deeds not Words

When I awoke this morning, there were two things I noticed immediately. One was the space in the bed beside me was decidedly empty, as in not slept in, and it was late. According to the buzzing alarm clock, Michael's flight for Boston had already left the tarmac, which was decidedly not good, since I was supposed to drive him to the airport.

The second thing I noticed was the large piece of paper propped up beside the clock that once I had my glasses on revealed itself to be a note from the aforementioned missing Michael. I'll spare you the gushy bits but more or less it said:

I reset your alarm. You need the sleep. I took a cab to the airport. Leave the crap in the living room alone. I called [the housekeeping service] last week and someone will be coming over today or tomorrow to straighten up. You and Sugar (the cat) have a good week. I'll see you Friday.

To me, this is love. It's better than flowers or shiny things. This is a man who thinks about me and how things will impact my day, my week. He was pleased with my hostessing efforts. He knows I worked hard to make his party special and he appreciates it.

I was sent to bed last night, long before the Saints came marching home. I'm almost positive the Colt's were still winning during my last moments of consciousness. I had been up since 4 am, mostly cooking and getting things ready. The menu posted earlier was the foundation but I was in a cooking frenzy. There were dips and little munchies things. I'm sure I rearranged the table settings half a dozen times over the course of the afternoon. I was excited to have people in our home and I wanted them to be comfortable and enjoy the space. By half-time, I was starting to droop and I was told to toddle off. Ear plugs in, I never heard another thing until the persistent sounding of my alarm.

Michael had picked up a lot of the stuff, put food away before he went to bed in the spare room. He couldn't have had much more than a nap because he had a very early flight and you have to get to the airport so early these days.

In my former life, I've lived with a man who was not near so considerate of me. I would have still been up at 4 am cooking but I wouldn't have been sent to bed early. He would have expected not only the house returned to its normal state before he got up in the morning but his breakfast on the table as well. In that relationship, his lips said "I love you". His actions aid "It's all about me, and don't you forget it." When I think back to how I used to live, I feel doubly blessed to have Michael in my life. His declarations of love are more than just words. This man loves me with his life, not just his lips.

Recently, a friend of mine has had an awakening of sorts. A series of events and circumstances has given her reason to look at her husband with new eyes. He might not always say the right things or be the most romantic soul. He might not always been perceptive to the complexities of her moods but he has offered her something no other man can. He's offered her a life. It's a life and a home that will be safe for them to raise children; a life and a home they can grow old in. Together, it's a life and a home they build every single day, with those little exchanges over dishes or coffee or the perennial argument of which way a toilet seat should be at rest.

Perhaps this is why Life throws us curve balls at times. Without the Jackass, I would have never appreciated Michael and all that he does. My friend, without the unexpected lessons of unintended consequences, might not have seen her husband for the solidity he offers her. Or maybe I'm just being Pollyannaish again… who knows why the universe unfolds the way that it does? Perhaps it's just incredibly egocentric to think the Universe cares if we "get it" or not. Be as that may, I have learned to listen to deliberate actions over pretty words and I'm a much happier woman for it, not to mention, better rested.

~~doll~~

Note to reader: This is a part of a writing assignment given to me by my boyfriend when I was struggling with writer's block. He gave me a list of Latin phrases and expressions to use as inspirational fodder. This is one from that series.