How did i end up here...

Right now, I'm feeling a little on the down side. Up until this afternoon, I had been blogging on another private site but that sort of went downhill fast.

One of the things that makes the Web wonderful is that we can post our thoughts anonymously. We can work stuff out in our head without being publicly censured for it. We can post with honesty about awkward subjects without fear of social repercussions. One of the things that makes the Web horrible is that we don't always have to be honest and other people get hurt.

To make a long story short, the participants of my former blogging home were sandbagged by someone who told a whole bunch of stories, was essentially an energy vampire and hurt a whole bunch of feelings. Details largely unknown to me because it was mostly before my time and I chose not to indulge in gossip.

The aftermath is what became the problem. A lot of the residents of my previous blogging home became understandable suspicious of 'strangers'. A lot of distrust and a lot of accusations are getting tossed around. I understand their hurt but you know what, I didn't create the problem. But being late to the party, I was under suspicion.

I've put up with more than a few snide and veiled remarks that perhaps I'm not who I say I am. Once, I was accused of having been a new 'stage name" for the one who caused all the hard feelings in the first place. Today, things came to a head when a well-intentioned (give her the full benefit of the doubt) person approached me in the private chat function and informed me that I was the subject of a lot of gossip and speculation. The tone of the conversation got pretty aggressive fast and it wasn't long before she was demanding that I identify myself and my boyfriend. I'm assuming she was looking for name, rank and serial number. Considering that the whole point of my previous blogging home was to create a community for people who express their sexuality in somewhat different ways, the whole "out yourself" thing was a bit much.

To be fair, she isn't an official of the site. She's another user but she pretty much finished me off for the whole thing. The suspicions and the mincing little digs...who needs it? I'll give her this much -- she said it to my face instead of being mean behind my back. But it was still mean.

So, I decided that maybe I needed to go elsewhere. It's not my intention to cause upset or chaos or "drama" anywhere. My intention when I started there was to read some other people's thoughts about alternative sexuality and contribute my own thoughts. I tried to post on a reasonably regular basis because if no one posts, there's nothing to read. Interestingly enough, the one chucking bricks at my head this afternoon wasn't much of a blogger. She says she finds it difficult to express herself in writing. That might be so; however, she did an excellent job of making me feel unwelcome to the party. All around, I'd say "Mission Accomplished". The point was perfectly well communicated today. In the interests of full disclosure, my legal name is not "Doll". It's what is called a "pseudonym" or a "nom de plume" for those of you who wish to get all fancy and Frenchified.

In any event, it's time to move on. I've left the community. My boyfriend left the community. I wish the owner of the site all the best. She's a wonderful woman. It's all good.